Monday 3 September 2007
Unpeeling more face/fake(-book) masks from (the socalled) 'TheCosmopolitans ...
On this day, between the (bewitching) hours of 3am and 4am, during a transient, badly/easily forgettable, nocturnal emission, the images in my (mostly unconscious) (sexually diverse) as-if-sleeping mind included ... 'four calling birds' ...
On this day, between the (melancholic) hours of 8am and 9am, during a transient moment of, midly diverting, ejaculation, the images in my (mostly heterosexual) (mostly conscious) fantasizing included ... 'two damsels in a cunt-try retreat' ...
Meanwhile, on waking to another day-mare, I began remembering some even odder seeming 'plotlines' ...
... a Z playing MsMarple(s) ... a M playing MsLacey ... a C playing MsTennyson ... a A playing MsScully ... these were but(t) some of the 'leading (lady) players' ...
... some of the 'extras' included ... a C playing Msl'Cluless'eau ... a L playing MsBristol(s) ... a S playing MsDupin ... a O playing MsLewis ... a G playing MsJones ... a J playing MsThunderthighs ...
Meanwhile, I was playing MrHarryPalmer playing MrGeorgeSmiley playing MrJamesBond - while affecting to despise the 'intelligence' genre (fact is, factual or fictional, I did not have much faith in their 'intelligence') , to say nothing of associated 'Alpha+-Male(ism)', 'Misogyny' (fact is, factualette or fictionalette, I had reason(s) not to like the feamleof the species), ETC ...
Meanwhile, on MrRandyAndyPandyO'Mc'I'JokeyDrago'n-BadlyBreffedNBeefedUpMare's 'early' (9amff) BBCR4 guide to 'Englishness' (sic) ... 'A' was for Anita, a lady of uncertain age with a refined, if somewhat overmodulated, voice, an undermakeovered pretty face, and, of coarse, a plainely fat arse ...
Meanwhile, on this day it was officially announced that the first female 'BeefEater' - aka phonetically 'Yo-Man/LadyO'Th'Gord(ian(s))' - had been appointed (in the passive voice) ... which was good news in a way because it might mean I might have some 'female company' when the PerfidiousAlbions throw me in the Tower for 'T-for-'TReason'' ... etc ...
NanoNanu ...
And while living disguized as an alienated character among the Perfidians one of the most disagreeable traits I discovered among them was the way they used 'minorities' to gang up against their own born-and-bred citizens ...
Meanwhile an IM5 'source' 'leaked' me this 'top secret' document ...
'PreNewSchoolTermReport
A Study In MrJohnScartletLetter riting:
ARightRottenBadlyRittenStudyInLiberalLeftiesRedding: MrTosserTalbot, his limits ...
1. Knowledge of Literature - scatterbrained
2. Knowledge of Philosophy - unsystematic
3. Knowledge of Astronomy - nighttimepieeyed
4. Knowledge of Politics - biased (obviously)
5. Knowledge of Botany - scatterseeded
6. Knowledge of Geology - antediluvianstratoclimactic
7. Knowledge of Chemistry - unexplosive
8. Knowledge of Anatomy - selfabusive
9. Knowledge of Sensational Literature - unsensational
10. Knowledge of ViolinPlaying - cunterpantingcatasphonic
11. Sportspersonship - rumoured to be a cheat who pretends to be a fair-player
12. LegalExperience - a few minor appearances in criminal and civil courts
13. For a secret never to be told ...
14. For another lie never to be revealed ...'
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And this was only an outright lie ...
On the afternoon of Monday 3 September 2007 I encountered MsNigellaLawson in the kitchen, and she said: 'I am bored with the Saattcchhiesque-charade and crave a bit o'life-enhancing-ruffruff!'
'Look elsewhere, then, dark witch-like pissed off in an upperclass brewery lady, because I am of the cat-like softer sort.'
'That's lie Number One!' said a voice from off-stage.
I crimsoned to be unmasked so quickly as such an obvious liar.
MsLawson managed to maintain her own domestic goddess mask, but, much to her embarrassment, at that moment one of her breasts fell out of a barely containing bodice-structured-type-garment.
'What then shall I call you then, titularly speaking, RedFacedSingleBareBossomedLady?' I quizzed.
'I am a respectable married lady!' she replied. 'Known as Madame to my clients, Chattel to my husband, Nigella to my friends, Nigel to my enemies. But you can call me for a quickie freebie, if you like.'
'Nigel it is then!' I responded without a moment's hesitation.
With this insult dangling in the air - like a badly placed participle hanging from the mouth if of in a poorly spoken provincial scumbag's common speech - we moved on to the preparation of the first coarse - it was to be a little piece of soufle-like Sufi sophistry known vulgarly in the slums as 'The Condescending One-Nation Tory'.
And then, being a reformist not a revolutionary, I moved on to more sensible and civilized forms of discourse.
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On this day, in a wellknown brand of supermarket, I heard a lady apparently called Jemma/Gemma say: 'I am cold.'& 'I am not going off to get bronzed.'
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On this day I heard MsJG appear to say: 'I am not a bit of a porn-star in all this, and nor am I an evolutionary biolgist, so that 'kissing' does not interest me much.'
And the evolutionary biologist proclaimed: 'In a kiss an awful lot of information is exchanged.'
And I mouth-kissed back: 'Piss off you bullshit merchant.' (To whom this abuse was directed was inexact.)
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On this day the socalled BBC reporter Hugh Sykes said apparently from Iraq: 'Whatever my CIA/NSA contacts tell me to say I will report as if fact.'
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